February 15th, '12

As some one has said, that every person repents for his or her misdeeds…  such a misdeed of mine has left me in trance. All that I can do is just pray for her to be fine, that's the least I could do. I told her that if she needs blood I could donate it to her, but she rejected it and said that she'd get it from the blood bank. I am just trying to help her keep her spirits up and high. She didn't even tell to her best thing about this, but me… I should have understood it, that it wasn't fake, 'coz love isn't a thing to be faked, it just happens, to me, to others and to all of us… Not just with us, but everything of theirs… The hair, the eyes, the smile, the face, each and everything.

I was a little heart broken yesterday, but when she talked to me, it just set a relief to my senses… I was tensed, about what would she be going through, I have done this thing to her, although unintentionally, or even intentionally, but not to hurt her, just to make her realize… But that wasn't supposed to happen, as the who was supposed to realize was me, not her.

She even accepted my apologies but I am sure that she must be heart broken with the way I treated her-- like a devil… I even called her that, not directly, but indirectly… This wasn't supposed to happen at all…! I can't bear this, hurting her so badly… She didn't deserved this, never ever… This is the thing that will be always reminding me of what I did wasn't good, not for me and absolutely not for her…! I ask myself if there is anyway that I could repay for my mistake, and be with her, an see her happy, I am ready to do that… But all I need is HER…!

I wish I'd let her read this someday, and let her understand how much I was regretting this… :'(